Life is Full of Changes

I've always believed that you can't take everyone with you where you're going. It's not to say you're somehow better, have arrived, or are leaving them behind, it's just that people have seasons. Some people are in your life forever and others temporarily, but it's up to you to have discernment to know when the time is up and when to move. When we hang on to things and people longer than we need to we open the door for confusion, struggle and stagnation, because that piece that once fit the puzzle no longer does. Also, sometimes we know that things are ending but we don't want to be the one to end them. Listen, God will definitely step in and shift things if you don't. I've experienced the lose of various relationships over the years but this couldn't have been more true than when I became pregnant.

I knew things in my life would change, I was a mom in the making, but I never knew to what extent. I knew my body was changing, my thoughts were changing, my prioritizes definitely had to change but I never thought that people I had known for years wouldn't be around shortly after I gave birth to my daughter. I'm talking about people that rode for you and you rode for them, through thick and thin, ups and down. What I came to realize was that what we valued or prioritized at the moment differed and it's not necessarily a bad thing. I understand that what we once were, we're no longer. On top of a whole pandemic and not knowing what would happen in the world day to day, my priority was to protect myself and my child at all cost. Also, for me to prioritize financially, let’s say holistically, so that I could be set up for success as a first time mom. 

My circle of friends has always been mixed. I have single friends, friends that are mothers, engaged friends, married friends, etc. and I noticed a slight shift in our relationships over time but not all of them were severed. A reality check for me was that people that deemed themselves more spiritual and/or relationally different from me somehow felt as though they could overstep boundaries and insert their opinions just because our lives unfolded differently. I was asked questions around the status of me and my child's father and whether our relationship would be something long term and that I should consider getting married. Listen, a baby doesn’t always equal marriage. Also, I was presented with questions around whether or not I made the right decision keeping my child. I even had talks with people about the fact that I got pregnant and they never thought that I would. So many situations presented themselves throughout my pregnancy. Like really! This is life, my life and things happen. When I say audacity, people had it, but those things revealed the hearts of those around me and what they most likely thought of me throughout our tenure together. Maybe the reality was that we were never really friends. Some things I expected from people, others definitely caught me off guard. Talk about that piece no longer fitting the puzzle.

Fast forwarding to present day I learned the lesson that it's difficult for people to see you evolve past their expectations of you because they were so used to seeing you in a certain light for so long. It doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with you. It's not a you problem but their problem. Life is full of changes and you have to have the ability to welcome them and allow people to grow and shift, whether in or out your life. The beauty is that those who leave make room for those who are supposed to be there. Those who root for you, encourage you, motivate you and genuinely want to see you win and evolve as a person and I’ve found just that. We have to be okay with the revelation of people’s true heart and shift which sometimes leads to letting things and people go. It's not personal, at least I don't take it that way. God see's the bigger picture, trust Him. Just like the seasons, people change, life changes, we just have to embrace it.